I still remember asking the question of my mentor, Mr. Vance Von Keisterburn. The Obi Wan to my Jar Jar Binks. The year was 1967 and I had just landed my first copywriting job at a small ad firm outside the Holland Tunnel.

Vance chuckled, puffing smoke from one nostril as he lit his next Tareyton from the redhot filter of the last. (Scroll down the page on that Tareyton link to see how to leverage babies to move the tobacco sales needle.)

“Boy,” he said. He always called me that. “Boy,” he said, “Get off the London Fog.” I leapt to my feet and shook a few wrinkles out of his musty trench coat.

Then, through a cloud of cigarette smoke and a cheekful of liverwurst sandwich, this veteran of advertising’s golden age began the morning lesson.

To be honest, I can’t recall most of what he said (we were both drinking at the time). However, I’ve retained a few of his surefire techniques to guarantee at least a good TV spot. (And, let’s be honest, creating a great TV spot calls for more time, money and market insight than most folks are willing to part with.)

So here are some components guaranteed to steer your TV spots into the smooth, speedy express lane to goodness.

A jingle.

* NB: A jingle is the advertising equivalent of a fun date who gets a little bit too into the relationship and IMs you every 10 minutes, calls several times a night, and finally camps out in your driveway. Unforgettable, but quickly tiresome. The difference is, you can’t call the cops on a jingle.

A jingle, take two.

Maybe trumpets are the secret to good advertising. I seem to remember Vance saying that. Or was it …

Beer.
See previous spot.

A jingle and beer.
Ditto previous.

People in costumes.

A jingle with people in costumes.

A celebrity. (Mickey Rooney, if possible.) And beer. And costumes.

Mickey Rooney, beer, and a guy in a beer costume.

That’s enough goodness for now. Tune in next time for Vance’s guide to celebrities to use when Mickey Rooney’s not available. ‘Til then, keep your trumpets polished.

Have you ever noticed how nothing good ever happens “in broad daylight”?

Banks are robbed in broad daylight.

Purses are stolen in broad daylight.

Even the occasional streaker or flasher is usually nabbed in broad daylight. Sometimes during a live newscast in the midst of a snowstorm.

The term usually refers to the audacity or nerviness of the perpetrator, after all, how many times have you heard someone say, “I can’t believe he did that in broad daylight!”

Which leads me to wonder . . . how did daylight get such a bum rap? And what makes daylight broad? We never talk about narrow daylight, do we?

God bless the Internet . . . a wonderful tool for people like me who ponder these sorts of inane things (usually in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep).

It seems that the term “in broad daylight” may actually be a derivation of “daylight robbery,” which has its root in . . . here’s the kicker . . . taxation.

It seems that in the late seventeenth century William III was looking for a way to scare up some income for the British monarchy, so he decided the best way to do it was with a window tax.

As you might guess, taxes were levied on the number of windows on a property, so the upper class, having the largest houses, ended up paying the most. And you can imagine how well that went over with those who were to a manor born. There was such distain for Bill and his tax that many property owners bricked up their windows in protest, robbing them of their daylight . . . hence the term “daylight robbery.”

Now, there’s conjecture about whether or not “in broad daylight” actually comes from “daylight robbery,” but the explanation makes some sense to me.

You can learn more about the phrase here.

And, I have to say, I’m surprised that we didn’t hear about a potential window tax as part of the recent presidential debates. With all the bailing out to be done, we need to pick up some revenue somewhere.

I just found out that you can’t have email if you are President. According to The Patriot-News, “As President, Obama might have to live without his blackberry.”

That officially takes me out of the running in 2012. I love politics as much as the next person, but not that much. When they said McCain didn’t use email, he should have promptly responded, “It doesn’t matter, if I’m President I can’t use it anyway.” As the article states, ” (Obama) faces the Presidential Records Act, which puts his correspondence in the official public record and ultimately up for public review, and the threat of subpeoneas.”

Obama is an admitted addict. I can relate, as I am sure all of us can in some way (varying levels of course). Think about no email for four years…possibly eight. No way. I attempted this feat, using hours instead of years, and it was still tough to comprehend.

On the surface it struck me as one of those, “how in the world can that be” kind of things, but after reading the article, it makes complete sense given the whole “leader of the free world” thing and potential security breaches that might occur if our Commander in Chief were allowed to fire off e-mails to advisors and friends at all hours of the day and night.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for it, just not for me. I’ll sleep better I guess, not sure about him. I can’t even begin to imagine the resources and support needed to make this even a possiblility for the President Elect. For Obama this has got to be one aspect of “Change” he might not have seen coming. Good thing he’s got 60 or so days to let everyone know the best way to reach him besides e-mail. Sounds pretty novel, huh? I wish him luck.

At the thinkbank, our interns don’t fetch dry cleaning or coffee (though they may make a late afternoon beer run now and then). From day one, they do many of the same things the rest of us do. Which is why, on Wednesday, November 12, our account services interns, Nick and Lindsay, and our PR intern, Erica, were given the task of presenting three different marketing plans – plans they also played a key role in developing – to several decision makers from our client, Fulton Bank, including Marketing Director Jay DiRico.

When we told them a month before that they’d be pitching the ideas, they thought we were joking. We weren’t. The following are their accounts of the experience.

LINDSAY

To be honest, I thought everyone would forget about Paul’s idea that the interns should present our Fulton Bank ideas to the client. But when we were told that we really would be presenting, I almost broke down. 

Our practice presentations two days before were brutal. At least I thought so. Sweaty palms, stuttering, anxiety and fear, a ton of um’s and so’s, Erica’s giggling, “Uh, I totally lost my train of thought,” and, I’ll be the first to admit, some tears.

I must thank everyone involved in this first run-through because it truly prepared me for the worst. After we received some feedback, Nick, Erica and I practiced running through our slides probably a dozen times with Hollywood snoring and slobbering on our new couch. Changing slides, reorganizing slides, adding pictures, adding video clips.

I stayed until after dark and came to work the next day early. I suppose this is agency life.

The day before the presentation was a lot of nervous energy for me. After getting all of the kinks out of my presentation and not getting home until after six, I practiced some more. Did I over-prepare? No, my mom was actually a huge help as I pretended she was our client’s marketing director. 

I went to bed early and woke up early to get ready for the big day. I suppose this is agency life.

We all gathered on Wednesday morning, and waited patiently. Who am I kidding? I wasn’t patient, I wanted to get this over with! Everyone was wishing us luck. Some were sincere. Others tried to scare us. I won’t mention names but someone told us that the executives were in horrible moods. I heard another story about CEOs flying in to watch our presentations from out of state. Someone else told me that this is our biggest client, “so you’d better not screw anything up!” A bit of intern hazing at its finest. 

After pitching to the client, I felt nervous, confident and honored all at the same time. But right now, I feel proud of myself and the other interns. We certainly impressed the hell out of the client!

I suppose this is agency life.

ERICA

I told my mom last week that I was freaking out about this pitch coming up. Interaction with a client – already! – my intern status felt like a tag of ultimate insecurity. She came home a few days later with a video called “Overcoming Anxiety and Your Fear.” I laughed at the 80s self-help film in VHS form and decided to mentally prepare on my own for now. I wasn’t crazy yet…just anticipating.

They say practice makes perfect, so I tried to practice.

Two days before the presentation, Paul’s main advice was for me to have more fun. He didn’t think I seemed nervous, which was a plus (because I was!) and I decided that having fun shouldn’t be so hard.

Wednesday finally came, and after watching the Fulton members slowly trickle in and shrugging off co-workers attempts to scare the shit out of me, I was more than ready.

A couple head nods on the intro and I hit the ground running. My note cards are instantly forgotten, and the rush of presenting is upon me. I heard the client mention his nieces during Lindsay’s presentation (oh, the perks of going second!) and made a mental note of it.

“Maybe your nieces watch this show…”

Bam.

I also took Paul’s advice and read the news that morning, reading about the decline of retail jobs, especially this Christmas, and relating it to Gen Y and their job search. A nod from Paul.

Bam.

With some smart improv and the moral support of the other interns and co-workers, I think we all made a lasting impression on the folks at Fulton. As a group, we overcame our fear and anxiety, or at least funneled our nervous energy into a small win for Pavone.

And I still might watch that video my mom brought home.

NICK

In the build-up to the Fulton intern presentations, I was a beacon of confidence. I’m just kidding. I was nervous, just like everyone else was, given the importance of the situation.  However, to me, the nervousness really only made me more excited for the opportunity.

I will admit that hearing how cool the Fulton executives were made it that much easier to feel relaxed as the meeting approached. Having a down-to-earth audience is the best thing you can ask for.

I prepared accordingly with my PowerPoint slides and talking points, but honestly, the key to successful public speaking for me is to not overprepare. I am not a note follower or reader; I strive to make the presentation conversational. In my opinion, it makes me more engaging and brings to life the topic I am talking about to the client. This works especially well in pitches.

The following is an inner-monologue of my thoughts during the presentation:

11:30am – Just met the clients. They seem nice and open to hearing our presentations. This should make it a lot smoother.

11:45am – Ok, Lindsay just started, the presentations are off and running. I feel kind of weird just sitting behind her like this while she talks. Man, I wish I had some of that food. I only had a bowl of Cinnamon Life cereal before I left the apartment today. What kind of dressing is in that sandwich? Caesar? Oh yea, make sure I touch on the ArchImages.

12:05pm – He’s grilling Lindsay on questions about Fulton and her opinions. It is pretty funny because I think he’s getting a kick out of putting her on the spot. She handles it well though. He just gave me a preview of questions to prepare for…haha (villainous laugh).

12:10pm – Erica is off and rolling. She seems much more engaging this time around. Hats off to you. Man, waiting is agonizing. As much as I am interested in what the other two interns are saying, I just want to get up there and start talking. He grills Erica the same way he did with Lindsay.

12:30pm – It’s my turn…finally! Why is everyone leaving the room? Am I that ugly? No, they were just grabbing a drink. I knew that. I knew that. My presentation starts with some small talk. After a couple minutes go by, I decide to grab hold of this meeting, “Alright well I’m going to start if everyone is OK with that.” Comes off a little abrasive I think, but Jay is a real nice guy. He laughs about it. The presentation feels smooth. I feel confident and the clients seem to be engaged. 

I decide to break the mold a little bit and get Jay involved in my speech. “Picture this. Alright Jay, I’m going to use you as a dummy.” Did I really just call the Fulton marketing director a dummy!? Everyone is laughing…with me I hope. After it’s over, he seems impressed and asks if we can set something up for all the interns to give their presentations to the president of Fulton Bank. Wow. We must have made some impression. I’ll have to make sure I leave the “dummy” reference out of the next presentation.  

Pavone has a bunch of secret weapon’s too deliver grate results four are clients. Won is me. In fact, I’m vary secretive about what eye do. Know one hear knows … accept when I stick my nose into there business. 

My fingers nearly deserted my hands in protest at being forced to type the above paragraph. After a long career as a newspaper editor and a short stint at a nonprofit organization, I came to Pavone in June 2007. I immediately butted heads with some coworkers for going beyond what a typical advertising/marketing agency proofreader does in checking for errors in the work.

As Pavone’s quality control manager, I look not only for punctuation and spelling errors, but also check for grammar, wordiness, sentence structure, word usage, consistency, typography, trademark usage, client standards, design, style, the totality of the message, and much more. Four hours of proofing a lengthy technical document may make me light-headed but I love challenges and the diversity of the work.

As quality control manager, I fight to manage the quality of everything we do, both internally and externally. I’ve come up with a few things to help us do that, one of which I’ll cover in my next blog entry. My goal is to make sure we are always improving and striving for excellence – even if it means butting heads now and then.

Hollywood is an English Bulldog. For the past three-and-a-half years she’s also been Pavone’s mascot and official Director of First Impressions (she greets most visitors, especially if they arrive with food). Here we see our shameless canine queen in one of her many sleeping positions. We’ve got names for them all and we’ll share most of them with you here on the Think it so blog. This one’s called “The Topsy Turtle.”

Every now and then the entire agency comes together for what we call “Fridays at 4.” The meetings are usually held on Fridays at 4 p.m. (We must have been all out of creative thinking on the day we named that tradition. Or maybe because we’re usually so full of wit and wisdom, we were being a bit ironic.)

The meetings are held in the second floor meeting room of the brewery located next to the thinkbank. It’s a fitting location which makes for some nice post-meeting social activity at the bar. Past Friday’s at 4 have ranged from informational (agency leadership presenting the annual outlook and plan for upcoming year), to inspirational (the CEO of one of our clients presenting his corporate vision and motivation based on the book “Good to Great“), to entertaining (employee skits demonstrating the thinkbank’s core values of Respect, Innovation and Passion).

Today’s Friday at 4 falls into the “informational/is-it-over-yet” category. Our insurance broker will cover the agency’s healthcare plan, from dental to optical to prescription meds and every thing in between. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a very necessary meeting and we’re thankful to have such a great healthcare plan, but it’s certainly not inspiration or entertaining.

Is it 5 o’clock yet? No questions? Good. There’s a pint of Susquehanna Stout with my name on it and I need a cigarette.

UPDATE: Okay, it wasn’t that bad. But even the insurance broker admitted that listening to him talk for an hour about health insurance deductibles and prescription eyeglass coverage is probably the last thing we wanted to do on a Friday afternoon. Regardless, we’re all very fortunate just to have great health care coverage. For that, I’d give up an hour on a Friday afternoon anytime.

While it may be hard to remain positive about the economic impact on the advertising business over the next 12 to 24 months, there will be consequential benefits. Clients and their agencies will be even more accountable for their media spending on both traditional and non-traditional media. On the bright side, media strategies and tactics will provide greater focus on only the most important objectives.

Most clients do not have the money of Barack Obama to flood the broadcast TV and radio air waves and saturate the internet with search and social marketing. As a result, their media buying decisions have to be smarter.

One new example of a smart and highly visible opportunity is Titan Outdoor’s launch of multiple digital transit boards/displays which will allow advertisers to target people using GPS coordinates. The boards will be on bus exteriors, transit platforms, interior commuter rails and at street level. The message can change depending on the time of day or which area of a city the board is located. Advertisers buying the whole city could tailor their message by area or a small retailer can just talk to people within a set geographic area. Imagine how much stronger the messages will be when they can relate to the consumer in the here (geographically speaking) and now.

It’s yet another example of how the opportunities across the media are endless for those who see their potential.

Halloween’s traditionally been a time of mischief, carousing and general shenanigans at the thinkbank. For many years, the creative department hosted its spooky Halloween smorgasbord in the murky depths of our cellar, complete with exhibits such as the heebie-jeebies-inducing Chamber o’ Timesheets, and serving up such dubious delicacies as balut or kitty litter cookies.

But this year, confronted with a galloping workload and little time left over for costume-crafting (and who could ever forget Ms. Denofrio’s My Little Pony get-up?), we decided to try something —bwa-ha-ha!— different. We launched an inner office game called Zombie, which proved to be a) mildly infectious, b) a good cultural medium for innovative strategies, and c) highly disruptive to workflow.

The rules were pretty simple: if you opened an email wherein the subject line contained the letter z, you became a zombie and had to cross your photo off the list (that’s them on the right). Only zombies could send such emails. And whoever remained unzombified by the end of the workday would claim their share in a prize pool of good ole American moolah.

Launched from a single hot zone (Peg Fallon, our illustrious quality control manager), the game soon escalated into a frenzy of viral contamination.  A swarm of the undead soon employed such scurrilous tricks as enlisting email from clients (thanks, bizequity.com!), pretending to be one of the partners, or even resorting to the brutish maneuver of opening email on their colleagues’ unguarded laptops.

As the sun finally sank, only six humans remained in the thinkbank. And it got us to thinking, since we’d galvanized ourselves with such viral and engaging behavior, why not harness everything we learned to craft an equally innovative social marketing campaign for one of our clients? Perhaps if we called the game Cooties? Or E-germs? Hmmm…

Once again, it’s proof that ideas can come from anywhere, even from Halloween horseplay.

Welcome to the new-and-improved Pavone blog. We’ve reinvented it with one goal in mind: To give readers a better understanding of who we are and what makes us tick. I can promise you, it won’t be boring and it’ll be updated more often than our initial blogging effort.

Version 2.0 of the Pavone blog won’t be limited to long ramblings from me. Instead, it will feature a collection of voices and viewpoints from several members of the Pavone team. Voices talking about the work we’re doing with clients or the culture that lives on after working hours. From kickball games against crosstown ad agency rivals to office eating competitions to whatever else catches our eye online or off.

Because I know it’s not easy to remember to visit all of your favorite websites on a regular basis, you can sign up to have Pavone blog entries sent directly to your in-box by entering your e-mail address on the right. I hope you enjoy this glimpse into our minds and culture. Both are key strengths of the thinkbank, even if they both can get a little weird sometimes.