The following e-mail was sent to Hollywood (hollywood@pavone.net) by a member of the thinkbank team who shall remain anonymous. We’ve opened up the Think It So blog to allow Hollywood to address this complaint personally.

SUBJ: Just wanted to let you know…

I don’t appreciate you always coming over to my desk while I’m eating lunch. I will not be giving you any food. You smell entirely too bad and I won’t be a contributing factor. In addition, you knocked my trash can over today and just walked away. What kind of dog are you anyways?

HOLLYWOOD’S RESPONSE:

Deer Purson Havign A Bad Day,

to ansir your last kwestun, i’m a bulldog. i thawt every one alredy new that, but appearently sum peeples still not sure which iz sirprizing considuring bulldog is teh most rekognizible dog breed evur (figyure A). its okay tho, you will git smarter like me the longur you live at think bank.

i is sorry abowt the trash can. i dont reemember doign that but it possbily happuned when i was in hurree to get to kitchin when somewun drop lunch on floor. but eevun if i did remamber noking trash can, i not shur what u expeckt me to doo abouwt it. i am a dog aftur all. Do you hav a dog at home? does ur dog cleen up trash or vakyum teh carpet?

finely, i will not vizit ur desk n e more. you are lunchs were nevur that good  ne ways. seeriously who brings peenut buttur an jellee to work? whut are u, six yeers old??? do you mom mayk ur lunch for u? if so, tell hur that hur spagettee sauce taste like a chiwawa’s butt. (that is not a gud thing).

as for my smeell, get use to it. i be mayking speshil vizits to ur desk several times a day frum now on.

Luv,

Hollywood

PS – is ur pikture on side of Pavone agencee? i not think so. until then, you deel with my smell an u like it.

pepul think i too laze too notiss what happpens arund here but i do. i watch when peeple think i sleeps. i heer what pepple saay when they think i not attenshun paying. i smartered then they think eeven if i cant spell all teh time. i no dum dogg. i just act taht way to stay undr the radarr. so y i say all this? becuz dog damit i deserv a little mor respekt around herre.

(note too paw murree – you misssing peetza frum frgerator last week? that wzz me. i not sorree)

there sum fameus bulldogs like teh one on skatebored ( i lovve him) and im not taht fameus yet but mabe one day i will bee. soon i will bee in artikle about offiss pets in central penn biznes jurnal. i already in patriut news artikl. now men is wurk on side of thinkbannk to putting big bannur on wall with me on it. its nice to be so vizble but i wury abowt privissy somtims. im simpul dog wiht simpul dreems but peeple recnize me somtimes like at dogs park. i like attenshun butt i lik peetza and chew too. wud rahther get lots peetsa than attenssion but ill take whut i can get.

My noze rinkle in this pitcher look gud. I woken up from dreeems ov chew paperr clip and then ggo chew paper cllp. Somtimess dreems reely do come trew!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Past day cabin smell deer poo. Also bird usekless. Goodtime and sofa sleep mansweat. Back work thinkbank. verrr bizness. Smell btt manytime and Peg give biscuit plus clip for chew. Give gas for beardman loving dogs.

Holidays meat time. Good come soon.